Chicago Banana

Personal musings of female residing at times in the greater Chicago area.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Mexican to Thai to German

Just now I walked out of a weekly prayer meeting I used to attend. I haven't been attending recently, but today, even though I was primed for a nap, I went.

But I wasn't comfortable. It's changed. The guy who lead it last semester isn't there anymore. A new guy leads it, and I have found that in the interim an entirely different set of people is there. I am friends with the new leader and I would have stayed, but I didn't feel comfortable so I left.

And I kept asking myself why I don't feel comfortable. Here is the answer I came up with: the flavor is different. Last semester the prayer group was like Mexican food, different than what I grew up with but substantial familiarity and since I can speak Spanish I am welcomed. This new guy has made the prayer group into Thai food. I like Thai food, but it is more unfamiliar. That is not really the issue. The real issue is that I feel that since I don't speak Thai there is a hedge being put up, like I shouldn't be there and don't have the right to partake. That to truly partake in the meal I should learn Thai, and I am caught in a bind for I love the people of Thailand but right now I am trying to learn German and I wonder if I am required to take time away from German to learn Thai.

"I may be young, but I'm feeling old, like somebody borrowed years and I found out they got sold, but I still love you, although my sky's on fire." - Phil Joel, "Author of Life"


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